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R U Kind?

Re: The Mann Center Setlist 7/23/2001

#44654 3 years, 2 months ago
Good luck to you Mariana. I was there but I didn't see any of this (I was stage right most of the show). All I can say is that mean people suck.

I had some issues at all the show from some supposed fans. I was minding my own business, grovin with the music, grooving with the masses when some dude came over and said he didn't like the way I was dancing near his 14 year old daughter. I asked him who she is so I could stay away but he refused to tell me. Instead he gets in my face spitting that I better leave. This guy - and some of his friends gave me to same message at about 3 or 4 of the 6 shows I attended. Definately put a bitter taste in my mouth after such enjoyable shows. But I did not let you get me down, dude, I had a great freakin time the entire tour.

Dude, if you are reading this, you obviously lack a clear understanding of the dead philosophy, and imo you are not a very kind human being. You threatened me wtih violence which really is not cool.

FIrst, I am 48 years old - married - and I have a daughter the same age as yours. I was obviously there enjoying myself. If your daughter happened to be groving with 100 other people, and so was I, why would you think I was trying to do anything near your daughter? And when I ask you, and your other buddies who also threaten me to show me who to stay away from, and you refuse....I am just clueless. Perhaps you were looking for an excuse to start a fight, although I admit I am grateful you did not get physical. Not that I am afraid of you, fighting is just not my thing - nor is getting thrown out of shows. I just want to be at peace and shake my bones. But I will defend myself if necessay, I promise I am fully capable of that.

I don't know how many people you and your friends intimidated, I heard others saying they were asked to leave after twirling too much (a couple of girls). I also don't know what your agenda was but I believe it was a sincere - but misguided concern.

Dude, there is something called kharma out there. I meant no disrespect to anyone at any of the 6 shows. I went to 5 of the 6 shows by myself and I consider the deadheads my family (on the road) when away from home.

Next time I suggest two things. If you decide to take your daughter to a show (I will not take mine, I do not want her exposed to the drugs and the spacy people) understand that people will dance around her - if you go to the part of the audience where people are groving. If someone dances near you or her, it doesn't mean they are tryiing to put the moves on anyone. You also mentioned I touched her? Dude, perhaps I inadvertantly touched her, but again, nothing intentional. You may also want to hang out in a queter part of the stadiium if people dancing near you or your family make you uncomfortable. Anything would be reasonable - but imposing your will upon others with threats of violence is really not what I expect at a furthur / dead show. In fact, in the 220 or so shows I've been to (and I grove at all of them) - I never had any incidents like this, and the way you and your buddies did this repeatedly show after show was .....bizarre and imo unkind.

Second, if you have issues with someone, why not try to talk reasonable instead of trying to intimidate and threaten? I still have no freakin clue who your daughter even is, so I still have no clue who to avoid. A simple conversation ... like a freakin human being... could have resolved this. Why not say something like me or my wife are uncomfrotable, wouldl you mind avoidiing our daughter .. SHE's over there. Then I know who to avoid. Or maybe you were tripped out on acid, although I didnt think so. Maybe you thought I could read your mind or recognize your daughter in a group of thousands. Or maybe you really thought I was stalking her so I knew who you were talking about (I believe that especially since I asked you and your buddy repeatedly who to avoid). Dude, I am lucky if I can find my car after some of these shows and I certainly cannot guess who you want me to avoid. I go there to have fun, not to fight over fictional nonsence and BS.

Most of all....chill. Maybe some bonghits of kind will help?

Peace to all, even you brother. I understand where you were coming from, and I always prefer to avoid confrontations. But you reallly were not acting fairly to someone who did not want trouble nor did they have any intent to piss off anyone.

I don't like the way guards / cops treat some of the fans (I tried to help a deadhead at a reststop after Mann center, and the cops almost arrested me for budding in.. I just asked the cops if I can give the girl a ride because I know here from the shows (not exactly true, I never saw her). The point is we are all in this together, and most deadheads are kind and caring souls. IMO the good people try to look after and help one another. That's one piece of the magic of the grateful dead scene (MO). So I suggest you consider trying to be a little kinder? Hopefully for the right reasons. It may actually feel good to you. Or consider being kind for the wrong reason .. (you catch more bees with honey than with vinegar).

You will obviously do what you feel right, and I will do the same. Who knows, maybe someday in the future we will share a peace pipe. I do not hold grudges and I would happily fill that bowl, if you were willing to consider another human beings' pioint of view. Note, there are always three points of views, yours, mine and reality. I understand that but I don't think you do. Now that I think about it, I wonder if you and your buddies were drinking .... maybe beer muscles? One reason I generally avoid alcohol.

Peace and love to all. May the four winds blow us all safely home.
FFF! Family is Forever!!!

May God bless and keep you always
May your wishes all come true
May you always do for others
And let others do for you
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