Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

--Dave Barry

> If I feel in need of sleep, I just open a book or turn on the television. Both are better than any sleeping pill.
~ Ethel Merman

> No matter how love-sick a woman is, she shouldn't take the first pill that comes along.
~ Joyce Brothers

Dreams get you into the future and add excitement to the present.

--Robert Conklin

We cannot live only for ourselves. A thousand fibers connect us with our fellow men.

--Herman Melville

That's the biggest gap in sports, the difference between the winner and the loser of the Super Bowl.

--John Madden

Some people try to find things in this game that don't exist but football is only two things - blocking and tackling.

--Vince Lombardi

'But I don't want to go among mad people,' said Alice. 'Oh, you can't help that,' said the cat. 'We're all mad here.'

--Lewis Carroll

The problem with winter sports is that - follow me closely here - they generally take place in winter.

--Dave Barry

The one who cannot restrain their anger will wish undone what their temper and irritation prompted them to do.

--Horace

Depth of friendship does not depend on length of acquaintance.

--Rabindranath Tagore

To find one good man you must tolerate nine bastards!

Stalin