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Senior Boarder

A Personal Tragedy

#294450 11 months, 2 weeks ago
I hope my posts on this site have brought some light and laughter to those who chose to read them.

I have, unfortunately, now encountered a dark and desperate time and am in need of encouraging words.

I am unable to talk to people I know, due to the delicate and personal nature of the events of the last week.

In the last 24 hours I have had to lockup my mother and my stepson, the one I shared red sock days with.

My mom, who has dementia, had to be separated from her husband of 57 years and put in an Alzheimer unit across town. It has been a slow and agonizing decent into a world of confusion and anger.

My wonderful, but troubled nineteen year old boy, who loved Jerry and could recite the words to dozens of Dead tunes, had to be admitted to a mental health institution. After a rash of bad decisions and unconscionable lies, he started cutting and becoming suicidal. We are waiting in terror for legal repercussions from some of his actions.

If you have children, I cannot emphasize enough the need to monitor their texts and facebook posts. Sometimes the secret lives they lead are shocking.

I am need of any supporting words my online friends can offer, as I am buried in darkness.
Senior Boarder

Re: A Personal Tragedy

#294453 11 months, 2 weeks ago
DC...incredibly sorry to hear that you are having to go through this. I don't respond to many of your posts, but they have brought many smiles to my face and encouraged a lot of introspection. You do good things and from what I can see and read, you are a great guy. I truly believe that all the good things we do and gets repaid down the line.

This is a tough patch that you are going through, and it is never fun. However, I can tell you...having gone through a similar situation with an elderly parent, that it will eventually get better. People are imperfect and unfortunately that sometimes slaps us in the face. Dementia is an exceptionally cruel disease as it robs us from our loved ones...yet they are still in front of our eyes and appear for all the world to be the same people. Sadly, they are not, and it is terribly conflicting to see the person as they are now and compare it to the person we have known for all our life. Hold onto those memories...as hard as it may be. That will help you get through this terrible time. And write! Writing is a wonderful catharsis and allows you to express your feelings to yourself. I know that sounds a bit weird, but in a very real way it is healing.

Hang in, you are in our thoughts. I am not a "churchy" or religious person in any sense, so I cannot offer prayers for you, but I will hurl tons of positive energy your way...Best, Fred
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Platinum Boarder

Re: A Personal Tragedy

#294456 11 months, 2 weeks ago
DC. Keep positive and use love and kindness to help you cope. Remember the good.
And leave it on!
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Senior Boarder

Re: A Personal Tragedy

#294457 11 months, 2 weeks ago
Dear Michael my heart aches for you!!!! You have came to the right place. We are here for you! Anything you need let us know!

Let your son know you are there for him no matter what! Let him know how much love you have for him! And care for him! I know your love can get him through his dark days!!!!!! Love is all you need!

As for your mom I'm so sorry to hear. It can only imagine how stressful that must be.

You gotta stay strong! No matter how hard it must seem you will over come this! I know you are a strong soul! Keep the faith and love!

When life looks like easy street there is danger at your door! How freaking true! Life can't always be easy street no matter how much we wish. Hard times are thrown at us only to make us stronger and better people!!!

Keep up the fight!!!! This will all pass.
Fly on these wings of love!
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More or less in line

Re: A Personal Tragedy

#294458 11 months, 2 weeks ago
I wish I could say something wise, or insightful here, but nothing comes to mind, other than,
I am sending you, all the positive vibes I can gather to help in some way. I wish the best for
you and your family. This is a heavy burden. I wish I could relieve some of it. Please be well.
I can't come down, it's plain to see.
I can't come down, I've been set free.
Who you are, and what you do,
don't make no difference to me.
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Platinum Boarder
Life is sweeter for this!

Re: A Personal Tragedy

#294461 11 months, 2 weeks ago
I'm so sorry you're having to deal with all this heartache, Michael!! Either one of those events alone would have been hard to deal with, but having to cope with both at once has to feel like the world is hitting you with too much. And it really is, being a good parent to a child and a "parent" to your parents, when the roles are reversed, is one of the hardest things to deal with in life. Though it sounds like you're doing exactly what has to be done, and I know you'll find the strength and wisdom to keep making the right decisions and taking the wonderful care of your family that you're clearly doing now!

All my prayers and good thoughts and vibes are with you and your family!! Try to take care of yourself while you're taking care of them, that's important, and difficult, to remember. And never forget that you have a lot of folks here who care!!

Platinum Boarder

Re: A Personal Tragedy

#294470 11 months, 2 weeks ago
Hey man,

really sorry to hear what you are going through. Sounds like you are a really good person and dedicated father and son. It seems as if you are in your darkest moment, but you are not alone and things can and will get better. I know it sounds corny, but love will see you through, and i believe your son also needs lots of love to get through what got him to a bad place.
Sending you Love and sympathy.

Hang in there.

P.S. I have enjoyed your posts too.
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Platinum Boarder

Re: A Personal Tragedy

#294479 11 months, 2 weeks ago
I am sorry you are dealing with double hardships .at least they are both getting the help they needed before something happened to them .Keep strong keep loving them both the message will somehow get through all you need is love .
Let It SHIIIINE !!!!!!!!!!
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katie mae
Junior Boarder

Re: A Personal Tragedy

#294482 11 months, 2 weeks ago
Hi. I don't post here much, but I read your post and wanted to say, please, please, please, get some professional help for yourself to cope with this difficult time. Forums and friends are great, but you are describing two very different and very heavy situations you are dealing with simultaneously, one of them alone is a lot, but both together is I'm sure overwhelming. There is no shame in seeking professional guidance in these situations. If you aren't sure who to contact, I'm sure someone at your son's facility can guide you to a trained professional who specializes in dealing with families in your situation, and such a counselor might also be able to assist you in identifying coping mechanisms regarding your mother as well.

Sending you positive vibes...you will get through this, even if it seems unreal right now. Your mother and son are being taken care of, now you have to take care of you too.

peace ~
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Platinum Boarder
When the goin gets weird the weird turn pro

Re: A Personal Tragedy

#294488 11 months, 2 weeks ago
Michael, you are not alone man. My thoughts and prayers are with you to find some solice in this hellish time.
'Nothin left to do but smile smile smile'
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