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Re: Happy Birthday DenverMan!!!#244405 1 year, 6 months agoHappy Birthday DM, it was great getting to see you out in Broomtown. Have a warm birthday, and have a laugh:
"Police found Two very unusual things inside the Denver Broncos souvenir store, last Thursday: Customers"
Q: What's the easiest way to remember your wife's birthday?
A: Forget it once!
Q: What do George Washington, Abraham Lincoln, and Christopher Columbus all have in common?
A: They were all born on holidays.
Q: What goes up and never comes down?
A: Your age!
Q: What did one candle say to the other?
A: "Don't birthdays burn you up?"
Q: "Were any famous men born on your birthday?"
A: "No, only little babies."
Q: Why did the boy feel warm on his birthday?
A: Because people kept toasting him!
Q: What’s the best way to get a man to remember your anniversary?
A: Get married on his birthday
Q: What is a meaning of a true friend?
A: One who remembers your birthday but not your age!
Q: What did the bald man say when he got a comb for his birthday?
A: Thanks. I'll never part with it!
Q: Why are birthday's good for you?
A: Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest!
Q: When is a birthday cake like a golf ball?
A: When it's been sliced.
Q: What do you give nine-hundred-pound gorilla for his birthday?
A: I don't know, but you'd better hope he likes it!
Q: How can you tell that you're getting old?
A: You go to an antique auction and three people bid on you!
Q: Why do we put candles on top of a birthday cake?
A: Because it's too hard to put them on the bottom!
Patient: Doctor, I get heartburn every time I eat birthday cake." Doctor: Next time, take off the candles.
Forget about the past, you can't change it. Forget about the future, you can't predict it. Forget about the present, I didn't get you one.
It's my wife's birthday tomorrow. Last week I asked her what she wanted as a present. 'Oh, I don't know ,' she said . 'Just give me something with diamonds. That's why I'm giving her a pack of playing cards.
"When's your birthday?" "June 2nd." "What year?" "Every year!"
Some things in life just make me smile I like birthdays, but I think too many can kill you.
Some employees bought their boss a gift for his birthday. Before opening the gift, the boss shook it slightly, and noticed that it was wet in the corner. Touching his finger to the wet spot and tasting it, he asked, "A bottle of wine?" His employees replied, "No." Again, he touched his finger to the box and tasted the liquid. "A bottle of scotch?" "His employees replied again, "No." Finally the boss asked, "I give up. What is it?" His workers responded, "A puppy."
A couple had been debating the purchase of a new auto for weeks. He wanted a new truck. She wanted a fast little sports-like car so she could zip through traffic around town. He would probably have settled on any beat up old truck, but everything she seemed to like was way out of their price range. "Look!" she said. "I want something that goes from 0 to 200 in 4 seconds or less. And my birthday is coming up. You could surprise me." So, for her birthday, he bought her a brand new bathroom scale.
You Know your Old when: You and your teeth don't sleep together; People call at 9 p.m. and ask, "Did I wake you?"; You begin every other sentence with, "Nowadays..."; The clothes you've put away until they come back in style... come back in style.; There's nothing left to learn the hard way; "Getting a little action" means you don't need to take a laxative; When getting lucky means you find your car in the parking lot; When happy hour is a nap; When you realize that caution is the only thing you care to exercise; You are 17 around the neck, 42 around the waist, 94 around the golf course; When you're told to act your own age, and you die.~God bless the Hampton Inn~ ~And You~