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captaintony
Platinum Boarder
Posts:3691

i hate to be all negative this morning, but

#212505 1 year, 11 months ago
I've been very unhappy lately. I got the clap. I got herpes. I got the crabs. I got hemorrhoids. I got asteroiods. My pubes are out of control, and my butt hairs are all matty looking like a dog with mange. My wife left me for another woman. My kids left me for another dad. My dad left me for another dad. My mom left me with only one leg. My wheelchair is broken and my lamp don't work. The toilet is plugged up and I gotta poop. I haven't pooped for four days. The only thing I have to keep me company is the sound of hippies being blown to bits.
Phred
Senior Boarder
Posts:418

Re: i hate to be all negative this morning, but

#212519 1 year, 11 months ago
captaintony wrote:
I've been very unhappy lately. I got the clap. I got herpes. I got the crabs. I got hemorrhoids. I got asteroiods. My pubes are out of control, and my butt hairs are all matty looking like a dog with mange. My wife left me for another woman. My kids left me for another dad. My dad left me for another dad. My mom left me with only one leg. My wheelchair is broken and my lamp don't work. The toilet is plugged up and I gotta poop. I haven't pooped for four days. The only thing I have to keep me company is the sound of hippies being blown to bits.


Well, sorry you are going through such a bad patch. And this may be TMI, but I LOVE being blown...I just don't understand what you get out of listening to it.
deadegad
Platinum Boarder
Posts:1541

Re: i hate to be all negative this morning, but

#212579 1 year, 11 months ago
captaintony wrote:
I've been very unhappy lately. I got the clap. I got herpes. I got the crabs. I got hemorrhoids. I got asteroiods. My pubes are out of control, and my butt hairs are all matty looking like a dog with mange. My wife left me for another woman. My kids left me for another dad. My dad left me for another dad. My mom left me with only one leg. My wheelchair is broken and my lamp don't work. The toilet is plugged up and I gotta poop. I haven't pooped for four days. The only thing I have to keep me company is the sound of hippies being blown to bits.


Sounds like a modern day Country and Western song w/ a pinch of Zappa. Play it backwards and it will all go away.
The following user(s) said Thank You: XtraCheddar
XtraCheddar
Junior Boarder
Posts:21

Re: i hate to be all negative this morning, but

#212580 1 year, 11 months ago
Well, that's rather unpleasant. Other than that lifes good i hope? =-)
lightchaser
Platinum Boarder
Posts:1468

Re: i hate to be all negative this morning, but

#212581 1 year, 11 months ago
Thanks for reminding me that my life is not all that bad.
Thank You Cody, we are forever Grateful!
The following user(s) said Thank You: scar1et_f1re
Blues_Power
Senior Boarder
Posts:432
in the world, but not of the world

Re: i hate to be all negative this morning, but

#212600 1 year, 11 months ago
go masturbate. you'll feel better and it will kill some time while you're waiting to poop.
We will all be together for ever and ever when we make it to the promised land
gratefuldude1963
Junior Boarder
Posts:122
grateful 4 furthur

Re: i hate to be all negative this morning, but

#212610 1 year, 11 months ago
i thought i was mad cus furthur waa not touring yet. if tony can live though that i guess i'll live till spring.
it's all a dream we dreamed one afternoon long ago
gratefuldude1963
Junior Boarder
Posts:122
grateful 4 furthur

Re: i hate to be all negative this morning, but

#212614 1 year, 11 months ago
if tony can live though that morning i suppose i can get over not getting new years eve tickets.
it's all a dream we dreamed one afternoon long ago
gratefuldude1963
Junior Boarder
Posts:122
grateful 4 furthur

Re: i hate to be all negative this morning, but

#212615 1 year, 11 months ago
if tony can live though that morning i suppose i can get over not getting new years eve tickets.
it's all a dream we dreamed one afternoon long ago
scar1et_f1re
Platinum Boarder
Posts:4900
R U Kind?

Re: i hate to be all negative this morning, but

#212660 1 year, 11 months ago
Look at the bright side, the day probably can only get better from here

Now stop making love to farm animals ... or at least use protection next time you nutjob.

I suggest these, as my wife also left me for another woman, I can vouch they will help get you over those lonely patches

www.muttonbone.com/


sheep_front.jpg


blowup_sheep_competition.jpg


(NO COMMENTS FROM THE SALLY BROWN PEANUT GALLERY PLEASE...YOU TOO STRICKEN )
FFF! Family is Forever!!!

May God bless and keep you always
May your wishes all come true
May you always do for others
And let others do for you
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