I've been very unhappy lately. I got the clap. I got herpes. I got the crabs. I got hemorrhoids. I got asteroiods. My pubes are out of control, and my butt hairs are all matty looking like a dog with mange. My wife left me for another woman. My kids left me for another dad. My dad left me for another dad. My mom left me with only one leg. My wheelchair is broken and my lamp don't work. The toilet is plugged up and I gotta poop. I haven't pooped for four days. The only thing I have to keep me company is the sound of hippies being blown to bits.

captaintony wrote:


Well, sorry you are going through such a bad patch. And this may be TMI, but I LOVE being blown...I just don't understand what you get out of listening to it.

captaintony wrote:


Sounds like a modern day Country and Western song w/ a pinch of Zappa. Play it backwards and it will all go away.

Well, that's rather unpleasant. Other than that lifes good i hope? =-)

Thanks for reminding me that my life is not all that bad.

go masturbate. you'll feel better and it will kill some time while you're waiting to poop.

i thought i was mad cus furthur waa not touring yet. if tony can live though that i guess i'll live till spring.

if tony can live though that morning i suppose i can get over not getting new years eve tickets.

if tony can live though that morning i suppose i can get over not getting new years eve tickets.

Look at the bright side, the day probably can only get better from here

Now stop making love to farm animals ... or at least use protection next time you nutjob.

I suggest these, as my wife also left me for another woman, I can vouch they will help get you over those lonely patches

www.muttonbone.com/






(NO COMMENTS FROM THE SALLY BROWN PEANUT GALLERY PLEASE...YOU TOO STRICKEN )