I would chase all you hippies down and chain you to a big tree. some might see it as a protest on trees so we would just go ahead and napalm everyone.

If I were speaker of the house:

I'd be drunk all the time, give speeches on the floor of congress that make no sense, show faux outrage at the democrat side of aisle, play golf with democrats, mock and criticize the tea party republicans who voted me into power, always have a red face ....


I'll think of more later.

Newt was the only speaker of the house to be charged for corruption. Just saying