So I took a trip down from Vancouver all the way to Shoreline in a hippie van with some friends (L, B, J) and since my camera wasn't working I decided to write down the best quotes I heard. Note that I was wearing a Canadian flag as a cape, hence the abundance of Canada-related quotes directed at me. Please enjoy and post your own!
Seattle
"It livened up at the end there."
"Someone put a mop in that man's hand!"
"Pins all day, pins all night!"
"Last time I walked through [Shakedown] I got a free beer!'
"Has aaaanybody got any eeeether?"
"It's alright, it's just water!"
"Somebody get me some cocaine!"
L: "Do you guys know Seattle at all?"
"No, have you guys figured it out?"
"Is this the BART station? When does the next subway come?" (in front of a Seahawks bar)
"Where can I buy hot chicks and fresh beer?"
"Is this Portland?"
J: "No, Seattle."
"Well fuck you guys!"
"Do you have a cigarette?"
Me: "Nope, don't smoke."
"Come on with that shit! Buy yourself a pack."
"There's no such thing as a fake posse! Either it's a posse or it's not."
"You can't rent an entourage." – L
"What's your favourite '90s song?"
"I'd park my car in *your* neighbourhood!" – L
"They speak some sort of… not 'merican."
"And on the eighth day he said, 'You have coffee!'" – Bradford
Be careful when you let that window down
Be careful when you let that window down
Be careful when you let that window down
Or it might crush your face into the ground
"I'm lost in space!"
"I think you're lost in a bed sheet." (at the EMP)
Portland, Edgefield, and Zane Kesey's Prankster Ball afterparties
Jeremy: "So many coals and nary a hookah in sight."
Me: "Is that a hookah over there?"
Jeremy: "That's a lamp."
L: "Sometimes it easier to pee in an empty juice bottle than on the street."
"What does 'last call' mean?"
There's a fire pit
Who wants to walk on it?
That would not be cool
"What colour is your parachute?"
"Dude I gotta make money somehow, I'm broke as shit, man!"
"Look how fat my penis is!" (from a female)
"Let's all make a circle and pee in the middle."
"That's autobahn, this is I5." (line of people leaving the honeybuckets)
"I took my bi-monthly shower today."
"BABY."
B: "It's very different from the other show." (B is a first-time Deadhead!)
J: "While navigating the squppery slid of the mind, if I'm going to be a puddle I sure not gonna be an angry one!"
"I've been 'that way' for hours, I wanna go *this* way!"
"I don't wanna go to bed!"
Me: "Never go barefoot second set. If people break glass at a faster rate than it can be cleaned up, there will be problems."
"Who runs out of mediums on the first night of a three-show run?"
"I will let you go *Furthur*."
"That's not Jerry."
"I *know* that's not Jerry."
"Only confiscate as a last resort."
"I've got ales for sales!"
J: "Well that's the last picture I ever take on acid."
"Chitty chitty, bang bang!" (as he slaps his female companion's buttocks)
"I'm giving my steak a warm, fluffy blanket!" (donuts)
"We're intelligent people talking about intelligent things."
"There's lots of intelligent people talking about intelligent things over there!"
"Is that why you're leaving?"
"Okay, and what's your name?"
"Smurph. With a 'ph'."
"No. Sleep. 'Til. SHORELINE!"
"If anybody's got their penis out, I'm coming through."
"I just want to drink it, I don't really want to analyze what's in it!" – Lucas
"Like you stole an amusement park ride…"
"Enough mear stories, let's do it." – Jason
"What colour is your parachute?"
"I'm so hungry right now… I could eat FLESH!"
"Sea of humans! Disperse immediately!"
"And you'll distribute these among each of y'uns?" – dad handing out glowsticks to his kids to make them more visible
"It's amazing how much our brains don't work." – J
"I want some purple hair… I mean Jesus Christ!"
"Moooooooo…"
"You should learn shorthand… use less paper!"
"Another ticket, another day!"
"I keep telling Phil, 'You can't have my organs!'"
"That's not a real cape!"
"I scream, you scream, we all scream for ICE CREAM!"
"Alright bitches, get on the bus!"
"PARTY BOAT! Where's the keg?"
"You see? People can't even *hug* in a straight line!"
"Don't jump off the boat! Unless you want to. And you're wearing the proper restraints."
"ON A BUS. ON A BOAT. If anyone else has a CD, put it in!"
"Did your boys like the show last night?"
"They thought it was okay. They slept through the second set."
"Do you have some toothpicks?"
"Well Dave had some cinnamon ones that were really old, and I needed them so bad!"
"I dare you to do it on the bus! Do it!"
"Where's the free beers at?"
"Triangulate your position! I'm all about triangulation."
"Hip hop is like pizza. Even when it's bad, it's still pretty good."
…
"It's also like sex." – Yaro
"You know how it takes forever to get to 11 or midnight, but then it's suddenly 3 or 4am? Anyone who thinks time is linear has never partied with me!" – Eric
"And BroJam over here… what's your name, BroJam?"
"I have five dollars in my savings account… I put it on my iTunes account, she spent it on *songs*!"
"You better drink that, or your going to wear it. Always put a cover on your drink. Always."
"Welcome to Canada's Mexico!"
"Woooo, Canada! Celine Dion! RUSH!"
"They're Deadlocks. Not dreadlocks!"
"Don't be a pussy, eat pussy."
"We really hit it off! I told her I had a hard-on, she told me to kiss her."
"I got a three thousand dollar piece for seven hundred."
"Does this smell infected?"
"Fuck you guys."
"It's like my brain got rebooted last night. And a lot of the memory didn't come back." – B
"It doesn't seem right for airlines to charge baggage overage feess when a 747 can carry a space shuttle on its back." – B
Shoreline
"Hey man… don't bring me down, man."
"no food. no booze. no food. no booze. no food. no booze. no food. no booze."
"Owen's dad's name is Givan, so when we had Nina he wanted to name her Sharon."
"Nola was an alien sent from another planet to help us!"
"They're turning all the port-a-potties into radar guns."
"Your position within a major corporation does not necessarily make you a square." – Jamie from Edmonton
"We found you! We know where you're at." – The Great Pretzel Vendor in the Sky
"I'm not coming to have sex with you, I just want to check out your yurt." – L
"Always have first sex sober." – L
"They've gotta finish Terrapin!" – me
"Don't worry, there's a third set!" – J
"My head is ajar… It's jars all the way down and my head's on top." – J
"You are a hoarder!"
"Stop saying these things faster than I can write them!" – me
"Walking normally doesn't feel right, I need to dance!" – B
"Hey, groundscore!" (flirty tone)
"Watch out for Canada, this way!"
"I like posters."
J: "What's your favourite colour?"
Jamie: "The Grateful Dead."
"What colour is your parachute?"
"There's a doobie out front here looking for us."
"I didn't know that one song could fill the Shoreline." – me, noticing that Gotye was playing there
"We came from up there."
"You have to find your own compass. That's your North, we'll follow your North that way."
"Now everyone can cross the street and I can't!"
"How many times have you been across?" – Sherrie, crossing guard
"That's not from the port-a-potty?"
"Sprinkler mishap. That's fresh!" – Sherrie
"Hold hands on that side! HOLD HANDS!" – male crossing guard
"Hippies don't like water!"
"Any Deadheads around here?" – Sherrie
"You can cross… but you have to ford the river." – Sherrie
"I'm actually sober, don't worry." (not someone driving!)
"They put the keys in the car so they wouldn't lose the keys, then they locked the car."
"I think he needs some help, why don't you get that boy some help!"
"I'm not coming down until you cut it down! " – J
"It's like herding cats under the stars." – J
"It's like a wave. One's gone, and the next one comes!" (Deadheads, when security tries to clear the parking lot)
"Don't jump man, it's not worth it!"
Me: "I'm Canadian."
Geoff: "I'm sorry."
"I enjoy Phish… once or twice." – Geoff
"We're in 201, and there's a person signing the lyrics. I took some pictures, video, and said "I love what you're doing, dude!" She said, "I'm a woman." With a beard. So I said my farewells, and off I went. Tom goes over and does the sign for 'Hungry, Lesbian. Bullshit.'"
"Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do!"
"There's a topless girl with a hula hoop over there."
…
"Ben! She's not there anymore."
"I'm an eye poker. It's nature."
"I'll trade somebody a joke for a smoke!"
"You're from Canada? Shit." – Erik
"Ho-ho's! What's goin' on?"
Me: "Did you drive that on tour?"
Dude in golf cart: "If only, man."
"Yellow jackets, they got little tiny stingers…" (security)
Me: "What's that crazy glowed-out thing?"
L: "That's a cop car."
"It looks like there's a big glass bong lying over there." (it was just empty bottles)
"Would you let one that size stay in your house?" (spider)
"A banana spider gives you a painful erection. They have been known to attack people. In Ireland or Scotland, you find them in a hole in the ground. Spider cave!" – Jacob from Tehachapi
"Why did the chicken sit on the pea?"
"Tehachapi." – Rob
Seattle
"It livened up at the end there."
"Someone put a mop in that man's hand!"
"Pins all day, pins all night!"
"Last time I walked through [Shakedown] I got a free beer!'
"Has aaaanybody got any eeeether?"
"It's alright, it's just water!"
"Somebody get me some cocaine!"
L: "Do you guys know Seattle at all?"
"No, have you guys figured it out?"
"Is this the BART station? When does the next subway come?" (in front of a Seahawks bar)
"Where can I buy hot chicks and fresh beer?"
"Is this Portland?"
J: "No, Seattle."
"Well fuck you guys!"
"Do you have a cigarette?"
Me: "Nope, don't smoke."
"Come on with that shit! Buy yourself a pack."
"There's no such thing as a fake posse! Either it's a posse or it's not."
"You can't rent an entourage." – L
"What's your favourite '90s song?"
"I'd park my car in *your* neighbourhood!" – L
"They speak some sort of… not 'merican."
"And on the eighth day he said, 'You have coffee!'" – Bradford
Be careful when you let that window down
Be careful when you let that window down
Be careful when you let that window down
Or it might crush your face into the ground
"I'm lost in space!"
"I think you're lost in a bed sheet." (at the EMP)
Portland, Edgefield, and Zane Kesey's Prankster Ball afterparties
Jeremy: "So many coals and nary a hookah in sight."
Me: "Is that a hookah over there?"
Jeremy: "That's a lamp."
L: "Sometimes it easier to pee in an empty juice bottle than on the street."
"What does 'last call' mean?"
There's a fire pit
Who wants to walk on it?
That would not be cool
"What colour is your parachute?"
"Dude I gotta make money somehow, I'm broke as shit, man!"
"Look how fat my penis is!" (from a female)
"Let's all make a circle and pee in the middle."
"That's autobahn, this is I5." (line of people leaving the honeybuckets)
"I took my bi-monthly shower today."
"BABY."
B: "It's very different from the other show." (B is a first-time Deadhead!)
J: "While navigating the squppery slid of the mind, if I'm going to be a puddle I sure not gonna be an angry one!"
"I've been 'that way' for hours, I wanna go *this* way!"
"I don't wanna go to bed!"
Me: "Never go barefoot second set. If people break glass at a faster rate than it can be cleaned up, there will be problems."
"Who runs out of mediums on the first night of a three-show run?"
"I will let you go *Furthur*."
"That's not Jerry."
"I *know* that's not Jerry."
"Only confiscate as a last resort."
"I've got ales for sales!"
J: "Well that's the last picture I ever take on acid."
"Chitty chitty, bang bang!" (as he slaps his female companion's buttocks)
"I'm giving my steak a warm, fluffy blanket!" (donuts)
"We're intelligent people talking about intelligent things."
"There's lots of intelligent people talking about intelligent things over there!"
"Is that why you're leaving?"
"Okay, and what's your name?"
"Smurph. With a 'ph'."
"No. Sleep. 'Til. SHORELINE!"
"If anybody's got their penis out, I'm coming through."
"I just want to drink it, I don't really want to analyze what's in it!" – Lucas
"Like you stole an amusement park ride…"
"Enough mear stories, let's do it." – Jason
"What colour is your parachute?"
"I'm so hungry right now… I could eat FLESH!"
"Sea of humans! Disperse immediately!"
"And you'll distribute these among each of y'uns?" – dad handing out glowsticks to his kids to make them more visible
"It's amazing how much our brains don't work." – J
"I want some purple hair… I mean Jesus Christ!"
"Moooooooo…"
"You should learn shorthand… use less paper!"
"Another ticket, another day!"
"I keep telling Phil, 'You can't have my organs!'"
"That's not a real cape!"
"I scream, you scream, we all scream for ICE CREAM!"
"Alright bitches, get on the bus!"
"PARTY BOAT! Where's the keg?"
"You see? People can't even *hug* in a straight line!"
"Don't jump off the boat! Unless you want to. And you're wearing the proper restraints."
"ON A BUS. ON A BOAT. If anyone else has a CD, put it in!"
"Did your boys like the show last night?"
"They thought it was okay. They slept through the second set."
"Do you have some toothpicks?"
"Well Dave had some cinnamon ones that were really old, and I needed them so bad!"
"I dare you to do it on the bus! Do it!"
"Where's the free beers at?"
"Triangulate your position! I'm all about triangulation."
"Hip hop is like pizza. Even when it's bad, it's still pretty good."
…
"It's also like sex." – Yaro
"You know how it takes forever to get to 11 or midnight, but then it's suddenly 3 or 4am? Anyone who thinks time is linear has never partied with me!" – Eric
"And BroJam over here… what's your name, BroJam?"
"I have five dollars in my savings account… I put it on my iTunes account, she spent it on *songs*!"
"You better drink that, or your going to wear it. Always put a cover on your drink. Always."
"Welcome to Canada's Mexico!"
"Woooo, Canada! Celine Dion! RUSH!"
"They're Deadlocks. Not dreadlocks!"
"Don't be a pussy, eat pussy."
"We really hit it off! I told her I had a hard-on, she told me to kiss her."
"I got a three thousand dollar piece for seven hundred."
"Does this smell infected?"
"Fuck you guys."
"It's like my brain got rebooted last night. And a lot of the memory didn't come back." – B
"It doesn't seem right for airlines to charge baggage overage feess when a 747 can carry a space shuttle on its back." – B
Shoreline
"Hey man… don't bring me down, man."
"no food. no booze. no food. no booze. no food. no booze. no food. no booze."
"Owen's dad's name is Givan, so when we had Nina he wanted to name her Sharon."
"Nola was an alien sent from another planet to help us!"
"They're turning all the port-a-potties into radar guns."
"Your position within a major corporation does not necessarily make you a square." – Jamie from Edmonton
"We found you! We know where you're at." – The Great Pretzel Vendor in the Sky
"I'm not coming to have sex with you, I just want to check out your yurt." – L
"Always have first sex sober." – L
"They've gotta finish Terrapin!" – me
"Don't worry, there's a third set!" – J
"My head is ajar… It's jars all the way down and my head's on top." – J
"You are a hoarder!"
"Stop saying these things faster than I can write them!" – me
"Walking normally doesn't feel right, I need to dance!" – B
"Hey, groundscore!" (flirty tone)
"Watch out for Canada, this way!"
"I like posters."
J: "What's your favourite colour?"
Jamie: "The Grateful Dead."
"What colour is your parachute?"
"There's a doobie out front here looking for us."
"I didn't know that one song could fill the Shoreline." – me, noticing that Gotye was playing there
"We came from up there."
"You have to find your own compass. That's your North, we'll follow your North that way."
"Now everyone can cross the street and I can't!"
"How many times have you been across?" – Sherrie, crossing guard
"That's not from the port-a-potty?"
"Sprinkler mishap. That's fresh!" – Sherrie
"Hold hands on that side! HOLD HANDS!" – male crossing guard
"Hippies don't like water!"
"Any Deadheads around here?" – Sherrie
"You can cross… but you have to ford the river." – Sherrie
"I'm actually sober, don't worry." (not someone driving!)
"They put the keys in the car so they wouldn't lose the keys, then they locked the car."
"I think he needs some help, why don't you get that boy some help!"
"I'm not coming down until you cut it down! " – J
"It's like herding cats under the stars." – J
"It's like a wave. One's gone, and the next one comes!" (Deadheads, when security tries to clear the parking lot)
"Don't jump man, it's not worth it!"
Me: "I'm Canadian."
Geoff: "I'm sorry."
"I enjoy Phish… once or twice." – Geoff
"We're in 201, and there's a person signing the lyrics. I took some pictures, video, and said "I love what you're doing, dude!" She said, "I'm a woman." With a beard. So I said my farewells, and off I went. Tom goes over and does the sign for 'Hungry, Lesbian. Bullshit.'"
"Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do!"
"There's a topless girl with a hula hoop over there."
…
"Ben! She's not there anymore."
"I'm an eye poker. It's nature."
"I'll trade somebody a joke for a smoke!"
"You're from Canada? Shit." – Erik
"Ho-ho's! What's goin' on?"
Me: "Did you drive that on tour?"
Dude in golf cart: "If only, man."
"Yellow jackets, they got little tiny stingers…" (security)
Me: "What's that crazy glowed-out thing?"
L: "That's a cop car."
"It looks like there's a big glass bong lying over there." (it was just empty bottles)
"Would you let one that size stay in your house?" (spider)
"A banana spider gives you a painful erection. They have been known to attack people. In Ireland or Scotland, you find them in a hole in the ground. Spider cave!" – Jacob from Tehachapi
"Why did the chicken sit on the pea?"
"Tehachapi." – Rob
What now?
"""ZAP EM' WITH THE SIREN, MAN. ZAP EM' WITH THE SIREN!!!"""
