Airplane in serious trouble mid flight. There are five people on board the pilot, Kobie Bryant, Bill Gates, the Dali Lama, and a hippie. Suddenly, the passenger cabin began to fill with smoke. The cockpit door opened, and the pilot burst into the compartment.
"Gentlemen," he began, "I have good news and bad news. The bad news is that we're about to crash in New Jersey. The good news is that there are four parachutes, and I have one of them!" With that, the pilot threw open the door and jumped from the plane.
Kobie was on his feet in a flash. "Gentlemen," he said, "I am the world's greatest athlete. The world needs great athletes. I think the world's greatest athlete should have a parachute!" With these words, he grabbed one of the remaining parachutes, and hurtled through the door and into the night.
Bill Gates rose and said, "Gentlemen, I am the world's smartest man. The world needs smart men. I think the world's smartest man should have a parachute, too." He grabbed one, and out he jumped.
The Dali Lama and the hippie looked at one another. Finally, the Dali Lama spoke. "My son," he said, "I have lived a satisfying life and have known the bliss of True Enlightenment. You have your life ahead of you; you take a parachute, and I will go down with the plane."
The hippie smiled slowly and said, "Hey, don't worry, pop. The world's smartest man just jumped out wearing my backpack."
Two hippies are walking down the street and see a dog licking his jewels. One says to the other i sure wish i could do that. The other hippie says you better get to know him better first.
A hippie and a college professor are sitting on a bench waiting on a bus. The professor gets bored, leans over to the hippie and says, "Hey I'll tell you what, I'll ask you a question and if you don't know the answer you have to give me five bucks. If you ask me a question and I don't know the answer I have to give you fifty bucks." The hippie says, "Alright, Man." The professor asks the hippie, "What is the Pythagorian Theory?" The hippie replies, "I don't know," and hands the professor five bucks. "Okay," the hippie says, "What has three legs going up a hill and four legs going down?" The professor thinks real hard and finally gives up. He hands the hippie fifty bucks and then asks, "So, what is the answer?" The hippie says, "I don't know," and hands the professor five bucks.
"if you don't like the news go out and make some of your own"