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manunyc
Senior Boarder
Posts:436

Re: Where have all my HeadFriends gone?

#151547 2 years, 6 months ago
dr bakes wrote:
I had a tour buddy who had some problems, went to rehab, now clean and sober. He hasn't been to a show since 05 and just saw the Sun Beacon show so perhaps we will see shows this summer, not sure how the clean and sober aspect will work.


I've done a few shows with someone somewhat newly sober before and if you have a few friends to do a good deed and go sober with them and don't hang out to much away from your seats it can be easier. main thing is having someone there to keep from getting distracted you can still have a great time. plus a sober show can be a nice mix it up for everyone once and while. hope you guys have a great show.
Counting stars by candlelight, all are dim but one is bright
The following user(s) said Thank You: 23atwell
bokb
Senior Boarder
Posts:347
Be, okay? Be.

Re: Where have all my HeadFriends gone?

#151642 2 years, 6 months ago
I'm a Deadhead in recovery. I think this thread just inspired me to start a blog about this.

I checked myself into rehab 2 & a half years ago, and I haven't had a drink since. I still puff on occasion, mostly at shows, but the alcohol is gone & the behavior is kept in check quite well these days.

Quick story: At Simpsonville last summer, I was on the spacious lawn groovin my ass off in the hot sun, gratefully slamming a bottle of water & being so present, and in the middle of the "Days Between," my water bottle was perilously dry and I was so thirsty! Okay, after this song,,,,,, they go into "Scarlet Begonias" & I groan cuz I'm can't leave in the middle of Scarlet! And dude boogying next to me seemed to notice my dilemma, offers me a cold beer (schwag Bud Lite), and I'm like, no thanks, I am so fucking thirsty, I need WATER!!! Didn't even occur to me that I was turning down a beer.

If you know deadheads who have gone clean and/or sober -- and I hope you do! -- I encourage you to recognize this lesson of compassion. Since I don't hang at the bars anymore, there are so many people I no longer see, and when I do, usually at shows, it's an unnecessarily awkward situation. I find my deadhead friends to be the most aware & loving, tho. I don't have a solution for it, but I have many theories.

Meantime, I found an amazingly insightful article from a very unlikely source.
www.cracked.com/blog/7-things-you-dont-r...&wa_user4=moreon
If unable to dance, I'll crawl.
Last Edit: 2 years, 6 months ago by bokb.
23atwell
Platinum Boarder
Posts:4912
I love what I love and I want it that way

Re: Where have all my HeadFriends gone?

#151668 2 years, 6 months ago
^^^^^^ bobk. Im happy for you that you could stop drinking. I know it's real hard. But to say your in recovery is wrong. You still smoke. Being in recovery is when your completely abstinent for all stuff. I'm not saying smoking is bad or what your doing is either it just your really not in recovery. Don't take this wrong way cause really you rid of the worst which is alcohol. Peace.
And I'm going to sit right here until I die
manunyc
Senior Boarder
Posts:436

Re: Where have all my HeadFriends gone?

#151856 2 years, 6 months ago
bokb wrote:
I'm a Deadhead in recovery. I think this thread just inspired me to start a blog about this.

I checked myself into rehab 2 & a half years ago, and I haven't had a drink since. I still puff on occasion, mostly at shows, but the alcohol is gone & the behavior is kept in check quite well these days.

Quick story: At Simpsonville last summer, I was on the spacious lawn groovin my ass off in the hot sun, gratefully slamming a bottle of water & being so present, and in the middle of the "Days Between," my water bottle was perilously dry and I was so thirsty! Okay, after this song,,,,,, they go into "Scarlet Begonias" & I groan cuz I'm can't leave in the middle of Scarlet! And dude boogying next to me seemed to notice my dilemma, offers me a cold beer (schwag Bud Lite), and I'm like, no thanks, I am so fucking thirsty, I need WATER!!! Didn't even occur to me that I was turning down a beer.

If you know deadheads who have gone clean and/or sober -- and I hope you do! -- I encourage you to recognize this lesson of compassion. Since I don't hang at the bars anymore, there are so many people I no longer see, and when I do, usually at shows, it's an unnecessarily awkward situation. I find my deadhead friends to be the most aware & loving, tho. I don't have a solution for it, but I have many theories.

Meantime, I found an amazingly insightful article from a very unlikely source.
www.cracked.com/blog/7-things-you-dont-r...&wa_user4=moreon


If I can push you forward a bit to try for making a blog, this is years back before blogs were really a big thing but my buddy who was sober talked about having a place to talk with sober Heads and try to meet up at shows for support for people who need it. It could be something of real use to some one out there you should go for it.
Counting stars by candlelight, all are dim but one is bright
manunyc
Senior Boarder
Posts:436

Re: Where have all my HeadFriends gone?

#151857 2 years, 6 months ago
and back more towards the original thread it really seems strange to me that in a place as big as Manhattan I can't seem to find and Head meetup groups.
Counting stars by candlelight, all are dim but one is bright
Wundurland
Expert Boarder
Posts:620

Re: Where have all my HeadFriends gone?

#152210 2 years, 6 months ago
manunyc wrote:
and back more towards the original thread it really seems strange to me that in a place as big as Manhattan I can't seem to find and Head meetup groups.


Plenty of NYC heads on here (maybe not Manhattan though...)
...was staring at the little blotch of sunshine with a special intensity, considering lying down in it.

-JD Salinger
23atwell
Platinum Boarder
Posts:4912
I love what I love and I want it that way

Re: Where have all my HeadFriends gone?

#152230 2 years, 6 months ago
manunyc wrote:
bokb wrote:
I'm a Deadhead in recovery. I think this thread just inspired me to start a blog about this.

I checked myself into rehab 2 & a half years ago, and I haven't had a drink since. I still puff on occasion, mostly at shows, but the alcohol is gone & the behavior is kept in check quite well these days.

Quick story: At Simpsonville last summer, I was on the spacious lawn groovin my ass off in the hot sun, gratefully slamming a bottle of water & being so present, and in the middle of the "Days Between," my water bottle was perilously dry and I was so thirsty! Okay, after this song,,,,,, they go into "Scarlet Begonias" & I groan cuz I'm can't leave in the middle of Scarlet! And dude boogying next to me seemed to notice my dilemma, offers me a cold beer (schwag Bud Lite), and I'm like, no thanks, I am so fucking thirsty, I need WATER!!! Didn't even occur to me that I was turning down a beer.

If you know deadheads who have gone clean and/or sober -- and I hope you do! -- I encourage you to recognize this lesson of compassion. Since I don't hang at the bars anymore, there are so many people I no longer see, and when I do, usually at shows, it's an unnecessarily awkward situation. I find my deadhead friends to be the most aware & loving, tho. I don't have a solution for it, but I have many theories.

Meantime, I found an amazingly insightful article from a very unlikely source.
www.cracked.com/blog/7-things-you-dont-r...&wa_user4=moreon


If I can push you forward a bit to try for making a blog, this is years back before blogs were really a big thing but my buddy who was sober talked about having a place to talk with sober Heads and try to meet up at shows for support for people who need it. It could be something of real use to some one out there you should go for it.


This sober meet up has been going on for lots of years. It's called wharf rats. You can usually spot them real easy by there colors which is yellow. I've never been to a show without seeing there table there. I think they even have meetings during intermission. They have news letters also they hand out.
And I'm going to sit right here until I die
Muddy Das
Junior Boarder
Posts:87

Re: Where have all my HeadFriends gone?

#152332 2 years, 6 months ago
my favorite bumper sticker i bought at the wharf rats table "true deadheads get high on music" i am not sober but i don't feel the need to party down at every show i go to.
mullysalt
Junior Boarder
Posts:23

Re: Where have all my HeadFriends gone?

#152338 2 years, 6 months ago
Godspeed to your recovery.

Most of my Headfriends won't even consider going to a Furthur show. Confirming what I thought when we were going to see the Grateful Dead with groups of 20-30 people. Most were just there for the party. Not me. From my first show on it's always been about the music for me. I've actually gone to several Furthur shows by myself including the 3/3/10 Masterpiece. I just drove 30 hours roundtrip alone to meet my friend in JAX and go to Wanee. Had an amazing time!

Keep on Truckin' my friends!
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