Wed March 14, 2011 3:59 PM EDT
45 year old Captain Tony was fired from the Vlasic pickle factory last week when he was caught putting his penis into the pickle slicer. Tony had been employed with Vlasic for two year and he was Vlasic's top pickle inspector. Tony's wife told RNN that her husband had told her many times of his fantasy to put his penis in the pickle slicer. She said she advised him against that idea for her fear of him being maimed.
Vlasic Representatives Spoke with state health officials and FDA agents this week to assure them Tony's actions were against company policy and that was why he was terminated. Vlasic HR department has also terminated 32 year old Linda Lovelace, the pickle slicer.
May God bless and keep you always
May your wishes all come true
May you always do for others
And let others do for you