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- Platinum Boarder
Re: Three old ladies were sitting on a park bench...#13024 3 years, 6 months agokmhpsu wrote:
If i told ya all that went down,it would burn off both your ears
Re: Three old ladies were sitting on a park bench...#13046 3 years, 6 months agoTwo girls are walking down the street, and one of them says, "Hey, isn't that your boyfriend coming out of that flower shop with a dozen red roses?" Her friend sighs and says, "Yes, goddamit, now I'm going to have to spend this whole weekend with my legs up in the air." Her friend says, "Why don't you just get a vase?"
- Junior Boarder
Re: Three old ladies were sitting on a park bench...#13051 3 years, 6 months agoOne day little Bobby was skippin down the street just as happy as could be when little Suzie spies him and comes a running up.
Now mind you little Suzie and Little Bobby were born on the same day in the same small town hospital at almost exactly the same time, and their whole lives have been one big competition basically. Whenever Suzie got a new doll, little Bobby got a new GI Joe. When little Bobby got a new bike, little Suzie got a new bike and so on.
So little Suzie comes running up, says "why are you so happy little Bobby?" Bobby looks at Suzie and says "Nah, nah, nah, nah, naaaah, nah, I got something that you aint got." LIttle Suzie becoming flustered returns "nuh uh, let me see." So little Bobby, unzips his shorts and pulls down his draws and whips out his little dink and say's "See!"
Little Suzie not to be out done lifts up her skirt and then starts to cry and runs home to mommy. Well, some time later and a long talk with Mommy, little Suzie is ready to take on the world. The next day, she's skippin down the street just as happy as can be, not a care in the world, beautiful new little pink dress when she see's Bobby and skips right on over to him and say's "Nah, nah, nah, nah naaaaah, nah, I got something that you aint got." Little Bobby comes running over "nuh uh, nuh uh, lemme see????"
Little Suzie hikes up her skirt and says, "My mommy told me as long as I got one of these (pointing between her legs) I can get as many of THOSE (pointing between little Bobby's legs) as I want.
- Gold Boarder
- skidoo, skidoo.....ski-doo doo doodlie doo doo doo
Re: Three old ladies were sitting on a park bench...#13053 3 years, 6 months agofor all the irrigation techs out there
This lawn supervisor and his erstwhile apprentice were out on a sprinkler maintenance job and the supervisor, Pete, started working on a Findlay sprinkler head and sprocket with a Langstrom 7-inch Gangly wrench. Just then his little apprentice leaned over and said, 'You can't work on a Findlay sprinkler head with a Langstrom 7 inch wrench! Well, this infuriated the Pete the supervisor, so he went and got Volume 14 of the Kinsley manual, and he reads it to apprentice-buddy and says, 'The Langstrom seven-inch wrench can be used with the Findlay sprocket.'
Again, the little apprentice leaned over and says, 'It says sprocket, not socket!"
- Junior Boarder
Re: Three old ladies were sitting on a park bench...#13119 3 years, 6 months agoA man was walking by the State Mental Hospital one day. He heard all the patients behind the fence saying "fourteen, fourteen, fourteen, fourteen, fourteen" and began to wonder what they were doing. He stopped where there was a hole in the fence to look and see. Then a patient on the other side put a stick thru the hole and poked him in the eye. The patients then repeated "fifteen, fifteen, fifteen, fifteen"...."Talking a lot about less and less;
And forgetting the love we bring."
Re: Three old ladies were sitting on a park bench...#13129 3 years, 6 months agoAn altar boys goes in for confession and this is how the conversation goes:
Boy : Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose girl.
Father : Is that you, little Joey Pagano?
Boy : Yes, Father, it is.
Father : And who was the girl you were with?
Boy : I can't tell you, Father, I don't want to ruin her reputation.
Father : Well, Joey, I'm sure to find out her name sooner or later, so you may as well tell me now.
Father : Was it Tina Minetti?
Boy : I cannot say.
Father : Was it Teresa Mazzarelli?
Boy : I'll never tell.
Father : Was it Nina Capelli?
Boy : I'm sorry, but I cannot name her.
Father : Was it Cathy Piriano?
Boy : My lips are sealed.
Father : Was it Rosa Di Angelo, then?
Boy : Please, Father, I cannot tell you.
The priest sighs in frustration.
Father : You're very tight lipped, and I admire that. But you've sinned and have to atone.
Boy : I know Father, Please forgive me.
Father : You cannot be an altar boy for 4 months now, leave now &
The altar boy walks out of the church where his friend has been waiting for him.
"What’d you get?" asks his friend and the altar boy answers...
"Four months vacation and five new leads!"