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Lynx
Visitor

Re: Three old ladies were sitting on a park bench...

#12612 3 years, 5 months ago
Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?



Dr. Phil: The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on "this" side of the road before it goes after the problem on the "other side" of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his "current" problems before adding "new" problems.



Oprah: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens. 



George W. Bush: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is either against us or for us. There is no middle ground here.

Obama: The chicken wanted a change of scenery. 



Donald Rumsfeld: Now, to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road. 



Anderson Cooper, CNN: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road. 



John Kerry: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am for it now and will remain against it.



Judge Judy: That chicken crossed the road because he's guilty! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks. 



Pat Buchanan: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American chicken.

Charlie Sheen: Because he was tired of pretending he wasn't a rock star chicken from Mars.

Tom Brady: Because he has a really tough day (sniffle, sniffle) 



Martha Stewart: No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. 



Dr. Seuss: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed, I've not been told.



Ernest Hemingway: To die in the rain. Alone. 



Grandpa: In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road and that was good enough.



Barbara Walters: Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting and went on to accomplish its life long dream of crossing the road. 



John Lennon: Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace. 



Aristotle: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road. 



Bill Gates: I have just released eChicken2011, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents and balance your checkbook. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken. The platform is much more stable and will never ever reboot.



Albert Einstein: Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road move beneath the chicken? 



Al Gore: It was getting too hot on this side of the road. 



Colonel Sanders: What?! I missed one?

And finally....

Okie: Because there was a chicken on the other side with a great rack (I'm fucking evil, I know)
Last Edit: 3 years, 5 months ago by .
chinacatballs
Fresh Boarder
Posts:13

Re: Three old ladies were sitting on a park bench...

#12615 3 years, 5 months ago
How many hipsters does it take to change a light bulb?????




Ahh man, it's a number that's sooooo cool, you've probably never even heard of it.
sandee823
Junior Boarder
Posts:59
Ohh mama, aint it good to be alive

Re: Three old ladies were sitting on a park bench...

#12619 3 years, 5 months ago
Lynx wrote:
Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?


And finally....

Okie: Because there was a chicken on the other side with a great rack (I'm fucking evil, I know)


Beautiful Lynx, flippin beautiful! haha
This family has opened my eyes to so much in the world. For that, I am and will remain forever grateful.
My freedoms in the fire, i want to take me higher....free my soul
brobnsita
Junior Boarder
Posts:99
i'm in the world to change the world

Re: Three old ladies were sitting on a park bench...

#12622 3 years, 5 months ago
And finally....

Okie: Because there was a chicken on the other side with a great rack (I'm fucking evil, I know)[/quote]


hahahaha!!!
laughin in her eyes, dancin in her feet
sandee823
Junior Boarder
Posts:59
Ohh mama, aint it good to be alive

Re: Three old ladies were sitting on a park bench...

#12625 3 years, 5 months ago
Big Bad Wolf and Little Red Riding Hood-
Big Bad Wolf begins to pull up Little Red's shirt. Little Red says "No, Big Bad Wolf" as she pulls her shirt down and lifts up her skirt, "You eat me like the book says!"
This family has opened my eyes to so much in the world. For that, I am and will remain forever grateful.
My freedoms in the fire, i want to take me higher....free my soul
Lynx
Visitor

Re: Three old ladies were sitting on a park bench...

#12627 3 years, 5 months ago
brobnista and sandee,

Thank you. I just hope I don't offend anyone! I hope everyone...EVERYONE!....sees it for what it is...making light of a ugly situation.
brobnsita
Junior Boarder
Posts:99
i'm in the world to change the world

Re: Three old ladies were sitting on a park bench...

#12646 3 years, 5 months ago
sandee823 wrote:
Big Bad Wolf and Little Red Riding Hood-
Big Bad Wolf begins to pull up Little Red's shirt. Little Red says "No, Big Bad Wolf" as she pulls her shirt down and lifts up her skirt, "You eat me like the book says!"


oh, my!
laughin in her eyes, dancin in her feet
brobnsita
Junior Boarder
Posts:99
i'm in the world to change the world

Re: Three old ladies were sitting on a park bench...

#12647 3 years, 5 months ago
what's the difference between a drug dealer and a prostitute?

a prostitute can wash her crack and sell it again
laughin in her eyes, dancin in her feet
Nupsdog
Junior Boarder
Posts:166

Re: Three old ladies were sitting on a park bench...

#12657 3 years, 5 months ago
What'd the number zero say to the number eight?













































Nice Belt.
neverstop66
Platinum Boarder
Posts:2730

Re: Three old ladies were sitting on a park bench...

#12661 3 years, 5 months ago
What's the difference between a cheezit and a lesbian?


One a snack cracker and the other is a crack snacker

I apologize in advance to anyone who finds my posts offensive lol
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