I love the smell of napalm in the morning.

He hates these cans. Stay away from the cans!

This one made me a Joe Pesci fan,

" Funny how? I mean, funny like I'm a clown? I amuse you? I make you laugh? I'm here to fuckin' amuse you? How da fuck am I funny? What da fuck is so funny about me? Tell me. Tell me what's funny."

Can't believe there hasn't been any Monty Python and the Holy Grail yet! Gotta fix that:

French Soldier: I don't want to talk to you no more, you empty headed animal food trough wiper. I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!

--------
King Arthur: I am your king.
Woman: Well I didn't vote for you.
King Arthur: You don't vote for kings.
Woman: Well how'd you become king then?
[Angelic music plays... ]
King Arthur: The Lady of the Lake, her arm clad in the purest shimmering samite held aloft Excalibur from the bosom of the water, signifying by divine providence that I, Arthur, was to carry Excalibur. THAT is why I am your king.
Dennis: [interrupting] Listen, strange women lyin' in ponds distributin' swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony.

------------
King of Swamp Castle: Please! This is supposed to be a happy occasion. Let's not bicker and argue over who killed who.

Dole Office Clerk: Occupation?
Comicus: Stand-up philosopher.
Dole Office Clerk: What?
Comicus: Stand-up philosopher. I coalesce the vapors of human experience into a viable and meaningful comprehension.
Dole Office Clerk: Oh, a *bullshit* artist!
Comicus: *Grumble*...
Dole Office Clerk: Did you bullshit last week?
Comicus: No.
Dole Office Clerk: Did you *try* to bullshit last week?
Comicus: Yes!



history of the world part 1

Brian: For 400 dollars I got Jerry Garcia in a pouch, man!
Thurgood Jenkins: Who the fuck told you that?
Brian: The man who sold it to me, Barry Garcia.
Thurgood Jenkins: So who is that, Jerry Garcia's brother?
Brian: No, actually it was Andy Garcia's brother.




half baked

"You talkin' to me? You talkin' to me? You talkin' to me? Then who the hell else are you talkin' to? You talkin' to me?
Well I'm the only one here. Who the fuck do you think you're talking to?"
-Taxi Driver

Joey, do you like movies about gladiators?


aeroplane

Man Stoner (Chong) Hey, hey don't take those, man.
Pedro (Cheech) ...Wha?
Man Stoner (Chong) I almost gave you the wrong shit, man.
Pedro (Cheech) Hey, man, I already took 'em, man.
Man Stoner (Chong) [laughing in astonishment] Hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo...
Pedro (Cheech) Hey, whaddaya mean "ho ho ho ho ho"?
Man Stoner (Chong) Oh... HU-WOW, MAN!
Pedro (Cheech) Hey, what was in that shit, man?
Man Stoner (Chong) You just did the most acid I've ever seen anybody eat in my life!
Pedro (Cheech) Hey, man, I never had no acid before, man.
Man Stoner (Chong) Jeez, I hope you're not busy for about a month...
- Up in Smoke

From "The Blues Brothers", when they bluff their way into a gig at Bob's Country Bunker.

"What kind of music do you usually have here?

" We have both kinds. Country AND Western!"

Alright you Primitive Screwheads, listen up! You see this? This... is my boomstick! The twelve-gauge double-barreled Remington. S-Mart's top of the line. You can find this in the sporting goods department. That's right, this sweet baby was made in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Retails for about a hundred and nine, ninety five. It's got a walnut stock, cobalt blue steel, and a hair trigger. That's right. Shop smart. Shop S-Mart. You got that?

Army of Darkness

From Police Academy

"guns, when do we get guns?"