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mok
Junior Boarder
Posts:259

Re: What is wrong with some folks at shows?

#107706 2 years, 8 months ago
katie mae wrote:
But still, it was the same on NYE, a guy behind me kept explaining every single song to his lady and I wondered how he could enjoy and experience the music when he's always talking...OTOH, a friend of ours who we've never been to a show with came the second night and just sat there experiencing it all. We never spoke the entire night, other than during intermission. I appreciated that he was open to experiencing it all and not talking through it.

People who text or check their phones all the time are for me, the same as talkers. I don't get it. Why go to a show if you're going to check your facebook page every 2 minutes? I feel sorry for folks who cannot turn off a phone for the duration of a show and just let the experience 'be'....yanno? For me, it's like a holiday to go to a show and switch off from the outer world.


I am a little confused by the above points. I hear you saying that you did not hear the drumstick guy but knew that if you had not looked at him he would have drummed on your chair? That sounds more like you than him, if i am correct that he did not actually make noise. Similarly, what do mean the texters are as bad as talkers? Do you mean that they ruin your show experience? Or that they are not experiencing the show the way *you* think they should be? I am honestly trying t understand here, btw, are you saying that their use of technology is interfering with your ability to disconnect because it reminds you of the outside world? That's a pretty hard stance to enforce, I think. I have used my phone to look stuff up, snap pictures, video etc. at almost every show I have been too in the last few years (not facebook, but not sure i could judge someone who did).

I can see your point about the guy talking about the songs if he was ruining your experience, but I can totally see him getting jazzed up to share his love and passion with someone. I think people should be able to enjoy their experience in a manner they see fit without worrying about other people's judgement of the way they express themselves so long as they are not being jerks (bells and harmonicas and constant talking are in my opinion the latter).
GratefulDad420
Senior Boarder
Posts:347

Re: What is wrong with some folks at shows?

#107718 2 years, 8 months ago
I sure hope my typing in the set list on my phone for all my friends at the beginning of every song isn't pissing anyone off. I do have a couple chats with friends I run into from all over the country during the music, as well, but I am not loud and it's not throughout the entire song. After all, it's all these shows where I make loads of friends and part of the fun of the show is reconnecting with everyone. Sometimes various parts of the experience just gets me excited about sharing one of the thoughts in my head with my loved ones. Most of the time I am just dancing, though.

I can definitely understand being upset with the people who are being overly loud, obnoxious, or playing instruments, but with general admission, it's not very hard to find a place that's comfortable. Also, if you do find someone that is really annoying you, sometimes tapping them on the shoulder and asking them politely to stop, will work much better than giving them the evil eye or yelling at them to, "Shut up!"

I have noticed a lot of people getting extremely upset and almost into fights with others at a show, when most of the time, being friendly and asking them politely to stop whatever it is that's bugging you, will halt the behavior right then and there. Believe it or not, most of the people at these shows are usually very nice people, with the exception of some that are really drunk, or something. In which case, walking away to find another more suitable spot isn't all that hard.

Try to remember, not everyone enjoys the same things in the same ways, and try to be tolerant, because I think that is what this scene and music is all about. Happy future shows to all!
The following user(s) said Thank You: amusingdeva
lostsailor
Senior Boarder
Posts:552

Re: What is wrong with some folks at shows?

#107801 2 years, 8 months ago
fourwnds wrote:
I like the GA shows for that reason also, but I just don't get why people would pay good money and stand there and talk, for example at NYE first night I almost said something as it was obvious these two guys were not there for the music, Eyes was just startin to lift off, but I just left and found a great section to groove in. That was much harder to find at the Greek in L.A. Whaddya gonna do.


At the Greek- stage right- go up into they balcony seats- there's a nice section up there for grooving.... I am always there
THough, honestly, I almost got into a fist fight with a guy because he got incredibly aggressive towards me and told me his right to talk loudly during a show trumped my right to dance in open space where I clearly was not bothering a soul. It made no sense and still doesn't. One does not have a right to be loud at a concert. Dancing at a dead show... is encouraged.
The following user(s) said Thank You: fourwnds, katie mae
lostsailor
Senior Boarder
Posts:552

Re: What is wrong with some folks at shows?

#107805 2 years, 8 months ago
GratefulDad420 wrote:


I have noticed a lot of people getting extremely upset and almost into fights with others at a show, when most of the time, being friendly and asking them politely to stop whatever it is that's bugging you, will halt the behavior right then and there. Believe it or not, most of the people at these shows are usually very nice people, with the exception of some that are really drunk, or something. In which case, walking away to find another more suitable spot isn't all that hard.

Try to remember, not everyone enjoys the same things in the same ways, and try to be tolerant, because I think that is what this scene and music is all about. Happy future shows to all!


Usually when I ask, politely, to please tone it down, they either get in my face or admit they should be more quiet.

So I don't know. sometimes you have to interrupt your godo time jsut to deal with peopel who should really know better. There's a difference between not seeing someone in years and hanging with the same person, looking into their iphone the whole night, and talking about sports, the music or whatever. It's rude to talk during a concert. Go home and do that.
Dire Wolf
Platinum Boarder
Posts:1432
when the police knocked y'all...

Re: What is wrong with some folks at shows?

#107812 2 years, 8 months ago
I generally find that the older I get the more I realize the majority of people are inconsiderate assholes and you have to serendipitously run into those who will be lifelong friends. Leaving yourself open to possible interactions with new people is one of the hardest parts of life. If the majority of people were not so screwed in the noggin then the world wouldn't be in the condition its in because the good would outnumber the bad....only problem is people keep having new children...fuck it already adopt...there's people who need a family and love who are alive now....we don't need to conceive more consumers and hungry mouths
The following user(s) said Thank You: katie mae
fourwnds
Senior Boarder
Posts:423

Re: What is wrong with some folks at shows?

#107844 2 years, 8 months ago
"Usually when I ask, politely, to please tone it down, they either get in my face or admit they should be more quiet"

This to me is one reason why I don't even bother, human beings being what we are, there is to great a chance for some serious shit to go down, even at a show. Personally, I just find it really hard to back down if someone decides they want to get in my face and I don't want to go there, not worth it at all. I just move on and avoid those who like this sweaty, hairy gorilla at Mickey's show in SB that was just Begging for someone to call his behaviour out.


I'm not old enougth to have attended any of the Acid Tests but weren't they free or chump change at worst, not eighty a pop with all the ticketm. fees. But point taken, and I would appreciate someone who might cut me some slack when I get a little too exhuberant at times try as I might to be respectful of others space.
wlewis
Platinum Boarder
Posts:6476

Re: What is wrong with some folks at shows?

#107855 2 years, 8 months ago
i had never thought about acid test like behavior so doses thanks for bringing that perspective into this but as far as i see it, these shows aren't 1966 acid tests. they are furthur concerts. they play music for us. sure we get a light show but the acid tests were not rock concerts to go see the GD in fact there was more time during them where they weren't even playing.

it's tough for me, i'm EASILY distracted. it's the worst if i've ingested LSD. it's hard not to notice things. talkers are tough for me as i feel like their conversation becomes equally loud if not louder, cell phones bother me a little if someone next to or in front of me has it out and on for a while. i don't like the light some of these huge smartphones emit. i also think it's rude to not pay attention to the music. if you're not interested, go out in the hallway or leave. sometimes i will use my phone to jot down the songs if i don't have a pad/pen but that is once every few tunes for a matter of 30 seconds while they aren't playing. different ballgame than missing half a set texting and facebooking. i feel lucky i've never had any of those aforementioned types (tambourine, drum sticks, etc, etc) ...

i think it's about awareness. people should be aware if their behavior is bothering others. it's really not hard to tell. look around. it is very difficult at least for me to try to tell someone to stop doing something. i've asked people to quiet down and i've received 2 responses. "sorry" or the person talks louder. believe it or not there are some people who just look for some type of confrontation at these type of things. they intentionally start bothering folks. i swear, there have been times where i have almost felt scoped out by people because i may appear to be having too good a time. or i could be off the deep end, you decide.

ultimately we can't control everything, especially a psychadelic crowd. so like strider says, we've got to take it in stride. we can either speak up politely and try to resolve anything or move. yeah maybe we were there first but really just relocating can lift a huge weight off your shoulders if you're super distracted by something, trust me.

i like the guy with the gigantic conch shell. he's conscious of the band, he only blows it when they aren't playing. it's hilarious. i can't remember his name. great hat he sports. you can hear it on trents NYE recording. i was in his section the 2nd night up in the seats.
who else is gonna bring you, a broken arrow?
The following user(s) said Thank You: katie mae
jodiah
Expert Boarder
Posts:838

Re: What is wrong with some folks at shows?

#107888 2 years, 8 months ago
Bakes wrote:
jodiah wrote:
mok wrote:
Holy crap that's a lot of stuff to be annoyed at, it made my head hurt.


Wow, that really is a lot of stuff to be annoyed at! It's cool outside in the lot, but I can see why people would be annoyed with it during the show. But, you have to admit it's not as annoying as half of the shit that went down inside the huge stadium shows during the 90s.

The only thing that really annoys me are the drunk assholes who yell during the "Donor Rap". It's like interrupting a prayer or meditation...it seems wrong.

I thought it was the local yahoos yelling during donor rap..I never yell drunk, just smile.


That's cool Bakes, I just smile too. But, there is a reason that the Dead didn't want alcohol to be served at shows during the 90s and in a lot of venues they had the power to work with them on not selling booze. Liquor makes some people assholes.

In any case, I seem to find myself somewhere in the middle of this whole debate. Perhaps it's generational, not sure. But, I have been asked to sit down for dancing because it blocked some guy's view (oddly enough during "Welcome to the Dance > Around n Round"). But, come on, there has to be some freedom. There seems to be a grey area on what is socially acceptable and what is not in our 'community'. I'm personally all for any freedom of expression as long as it's not infringing on the well-being, happiness, respect or dignity of others. That being said, we all pretty much know what to expect at a show.
The following user(s) said Thank You: ruby_claire
ruby_claire
Senior Boarder
Posts:420
Neon Light Diamond

Re: What is wrong with some folks at shows?

#107960 2 years, 8 months ago
I had a scarf thingy with a lot of bells on it at Red Rocks. I was very into the jangling that it made, kinda like an ankle bracelet only more so. A guy near me very nicely asked me to take it off at the start of the show, he said it was distracting. I honestly hadn't thought of it that way, but i wouldn't ever want to do something that was causing someone else not to enjoy the show, so off it came. I accidentily left it there, and he was nice enough to pick it up and call me to telll me that he had it. I keep it on my bedroom light now and my cats LOVE it!
Maybe if a requestto stop doing something is reasonable it can be politely addressed and other people will be kind about it. Unfortunately this doesn't seem to work with the talkers. Luckily for me i have developed a deaf ear for anything but the music, although i have to give quite a bit of credit to the copious substances that i somehow find myself ingesting at these shows.

There is NO excuse for abusing disability privileges!

Happy New Year to y'all ~ Let's hope it's a good one!!
standing on the moon
with nothing left to do
a lovely view of heaven
but i'd rather be with you
The following user(s) said Thank You: PMoondancer
katie mae
Junior Boarder
Posts:110

Re: What is wrong with some folks at shows?

#108099 2 years, 8 months ago
ruby_claire wrote:
I had a scarf thingy with a lot of bells on it at Red Rocks. I was very into the jangling that it made, kinda like an ankle bracelet only more so. A guy near me very nicely asked me to take it off at the start of the show, he said it was distracting. I honestly hadn't thought of it that way, but i wouldn't ever want to do something that was causing someone else not to enjoy the show, so off it came. I accidentily left it there, and he was nice enough to pick it up and call me to telll me that he had it. I keep it on my bedroom light now and my cats LOVE it!
Maybe if a requestto stop doing something is reasonable it can be politely addressed and other people will be kind about it. Unfortunately this doesn't seem to work with the talkers. Luckily for me i have developed a deaf ear for anything but the music, although i have to give quite a bit of credit to the copious substances that i somehow find myself ingesting at these shows.

There is NO excuse for abusing disability privileges!

Happy New Year to y'all ~ Let's hope it's a good one!!

Hey now ruby claire! Just wanted to say thank you to you for being a good sport and understanding about the bell thang. And I'm glad that guy was able to explain his feelings to you without being a jerk and bumming you out. That's how is should work, though it doesn't always. But again, thank you for being understanding. Folks like me really appreciate that more than you know!

wlewis, I could 'word' your entire above post. I am like you, I get distracted very easily as well, regardless of my mental state, and I hadn't thought about it from the perspective of me being part of my problem so thanks for bringing that up. So yeah, it's partly me I guess, because like you, I get distracted by talkers and the bright phone screens when someone in front of me is twattering or whatever on their phone. I usually try to just close my eyes when the phones are bugging me. I cant really move myself elsewhere though - in the case of loud talkers, tambourines, drummers, harmonicas, bellers, etc. - because I need to stay near the hubs and he cannot move easily to another seat/location. But I always manage to have a good show on some level. I do think the chatter and the bringing weird shit to a show isn't indicative of the acid tests either, I think that sadly, American society has become more me-centric and people are so unaware and clueless as to how their actions affect/effect others.

After reading wlewis's post, I was thinking this morning of this phenomenon of people going to a show and being on their phones, updating their facebook and twitter stuff and it still baffles me. I mean, the GOGD have always been a band that has embraced new and emerging technology, from the Wall of Sound to the new online Almanac, to their own monitored online ticket sales mechanisms the GD and any subsequent iteration has always been at the forefront of new technology. BUT, their on stage gig has remained old school in that they come on stage and play in front of people, live, using instruments, no funny weird shit - well, except Mickey's 2009 rig which was cool - but anyway, what I'm getting at is that I find it odd that people cannot go to a show and turn off their tech toys and tune out the outside world and just enjoy listening to the music play for a few hours without feeling compelled to post set lists and update twitter or facebook. I mean, does anyone really need to know what you're doing every minute? None of us is that important, IMO. I know people who are so competitive that both the husband and the wife simultaneously twatter the set lists so one of them will get to be "the one" who gets recognized for updating some random online set list site. I feel sorry for people like that who cannot just stop the merry go round and become completely swept up in the music and the moment. Then again, I know not everyone goes to a show for the same reasons. Just my two cents this morning. I think I need more coffee.
Last Edit: 2 years, 8 months ago by katie mae.
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