An older guy is out on a golf course, by himself, early one Tuesday morning.
He's already finished four holes, and he's pretty happy and hitting the ball well.
Gets to the 5th tee, tees it up and lets it fly.
Straight down the middle of the fairway, pretty long for a guy his age.
Picks up his bag, and starts walking down the fairway.
He's just about to get to where his ball landed when he hears:
It kinda freaks him out, since there's nobody out on the course and he hasn't seen anybody since he left the clubhouse.
He looks around, sees nothing. Shrugs it off, and continues towards his ball.
Takes a couple of steps, and, again he hears:
Stops. Really looks around this time.
Over to his left, just off the fairway, is a pond.
In the pond, on a lily pad, is a frog.
Guy says to the frog:
"Did you just say something?"
"Yeah. Come over here."
Guy walks over to the Frog, says "Yeah, what? What do you want?"
"Listen. Pick me up. Turn me over and rub my stomach and I'll turn into a beautiful woman. I'll make wild, passionate love to you all day long".
The guy picks up the frog, puts it in his pocket and starts heading back down the fairway.
He gets a few steps, and the Frog says: "Hey!"
The guy takes the Frog out of his pocket and says "What?"
"I told you to turn me over, rub my stomach and I'll turn into a woman the likes of which you've never seen and I'll really give you a thrill. Trust me on this."
The guy puts the Frog back into his pocket, and starts walking again.
Frog again yells: "HEY!!"
Guy takes the Frog out of his pocket, again, and snaps back: "WHAT?!"
Frog: "Did you hear me?"
Guy: "Yeah -- I heard you."
Guy says, "At my age, I'd rather have a talking Frog"